After the Fire

Dear Healing Circle Sisters,

Wow! I thought things were intense in July. August is continuing the trend! Is this true for you too?

I am doing surprisingly well with all the stress of losing SunHaven to the wildfire and having our living situation in upheaval all summer. My blood tests indicate I'm physically doing just fine, in some cases even better than pre-fire. 

Just about to head off to "Courageous Women, Fearless Lives" at Shambhalla Mountain- affectionately called "Cancer Camp." I almost did not register to return this year because 6 of the good friends I made there last year died this year. That was almost too hard to bear. At least three of them were thriving last summer. Then when Jane Query decided to register, I decided not to miss it. They graciously gave me another scholarship this year. Jane and I will be tent-mates for 5 days. Hopefully the peace of the Stupa, and the magic of all these Courageous Women will be healing for both of us. 

Ken retires the end of this month, and in September Ken and I will take our travel trailer to the western slope while he archery hunts elk. We are really looking forward to the peaceful quiet time. Then in October we will return and live in Susan Seneschen's home. Susan got a sudden job in Canada and had to leave quickly. Our living in her home for the winter will allow her time to decide what to ship, what to leave, and how to set her home up as a rental. It also allows us to continue holding Full Moon Healing Circle at her gracious home through the rest of the year. 

Looking forward to seeing and singing with you!

High Park Wild Fire Burns Our Home at SunHaven

On June 9, 2012 we were evacuated from our beloved home due to the High Park Wild Fire roaring through our canyon. On June 10th our home was completely and devastatingly burned. Today's news of the fire indicates it is 100% contained, although they will not call it “controlled” until we have a downpour of rain or a good snowfall. As usual in a wildfire Mother Nature gets the final word. Our home and neighborhood (Stratton Park behind Mt Ethel) was smack in the middle of the burn area. We were able to return to the land to see the devastation last week. Basically, nothing is left (I did find a red marble from the Shambhala Stupa). We will visit the land again with the insurance adjusters next week, then on to the big decisions of whether we can rebuild or not.

Meanwhile we were very grateful to have a bedroom in my brother’s townhome to stay in. Last week his Tennessee family was visiting, so the insurance company moved Ken and I into a hotel room which is really nice and has a full kitchen. Also last week we found a used trailer on Craigslist that we are currently outfitting so we can move into it later in the summer. So we are no longer homeless! I've attached a Before/After picture of SunHaven.

We are trying to keep the perspective of having a clean slate (well maybe blackened slate) to create new dreams! For a while Ken and I pretended we were newlyweds just starting out (but smarter than 29 years ago). Now that we are staying in this lovely hotel, we are pretending to be honeymooners- wahoo! Meanwhile, we are happy to be safe and well. And everyday we are surrounded by loving friends and family- like you- who help us through the tough times. Thank you.

Poor PETscan Results- Starting to take an Estrogen Blocker

I got some bad news with my last Pet/CT scan taken last week. I just discussed it with the oncologist yesterday. I kind of expected the test to go well since I've been feeling so well. But Dr Scott (oncologist) says at this stage feeling good is not a good indicator. Bummer.

The test pictures turned out to be scarier looking than I expected with shocking masses in my abdomen and on my thyroid- all of which were interpreted by the experts as "nothing." (The abdomen stuff was just poop! The thyroid blackness was something seen before on PETscans- unknown but not cancer.)

The worrisome somethings were more lymph nodes with cancer. Two now near my heart and one in my right shoulder. So instead of one node and one suspicious area, there are at least 3 nodes with cancer. The good news is it is still confined to the lymph system- no tumors anywhere, no bones involved. The bad news is it is slightly worse than a year ago. So I am going to start taking the estrogen blocker pill they have wanted me to take all along. Dr Scott says besides zeroing my estrogen (which I actually was able to lower a lot on my own) the blocker will make any estrogen and other hormones unavailable to feed the cancer. Dr Fields called today to back that up and ask me to take the aromacin (blocker) daily. So I've started today.

I still have not decided whether to do the surgery in April. Dr Scott wants me to have the remaining breast tissue on my right side removed and my left breast removed at the same time. She is adamant that I will have to do it someday, and the sooner the better. I would like to not be lopsided anymore, but am afraid surgery will activate the cancer. If I don't keep the April 19 surgery appt, she wants me to do it before July 1. On the other hand, the surgeon is not so adament. I'm waiting for him to see the PET/CT scan and let me know his opinion. I meet with Dr Fields on Tuesday to ask her opinion- up to now she was not as in favor as Dr Scott. And I hope to get a phone appt with Jonathan Treasure after he sees the PET/CT scan. Then I will decide about surgery or not.

I'm having a quiet day at home today. Trying to take it all in. Tonight is the Full Moon Healing Circle, but I'm not sure at this moment if I will make it. Yesterday was tough with this news, and 5 other appointments throughout the day. Tomorrow I have to take Don to the hospital to have his trach changed and it will take all day. So I'm wondering if I would be better just staying quiet tonight.

Forming the Healing Circle

Dear Healing Circle Sisters,
Remember that powerful and precious Healing Circle you all gifted me with last July?
Susan Seneshen, Katharine Gregory and I have been envisioning expanding that Healing Circle concept during this powerful year of 2012.

We would like to invite you to join us during each full moon of the next year for a sacred gathering of women- Singing, Chanting, Lighting Candles, Acknowledging and Sharing the Healing Power of a Sacred Loving Circle to anyone (present or not) needing that energy.

We will start this coming full moon on Monday, January 9th.
We want to create a flowing, flexible, organic circle that would meet in different sisters' homes, perhaps even at different times of the day, each full moon. This way the days of the week would vary allowing different women to participate as the timing is right for them.

We invite you to join us, and to invite any other women who might be interested in joining us each full moon.

On next Monday night we will gather at Susan's home at 7:15pm (with the Circle starting at 7:30pm). We anticipate the circle to last about 1 and 1/2 hours, and to include a short time for introductions, forming the circle, including anyone needing healing in the circle, singing and playing music together, sharing tea and conversation- altogether a lovely, yet meaningful gathering of empowered women.

For this first meeting, we invite you to bring a candle (not required) to be used in the circle. If you are unable to attend, you are also invited to participate by lighting your candle during the circle time wherever you are!

I hope you will join us! Susan’s home is at __________________ in Fort Collins and her phone is _________________. The location and time of future circles will be determined at our first gathering. We will send out emails with details after each circle. The second full moon of 2012 is Tuesday, February 7th.

Please contact Susan, Katharine or myself with any questions, but don’t worry about RSVPing. As anyone who has ever participated in women’s circles knows, there is always the perfect number and mix of women who join us (in body or in spirit).

Details-
1st Full Moon Healing Circle
Monday, January 9, 2012 - meet at 7:15pm, complete by 9pm

I hope to see you there! Let me know if you would like to continue getting these email invitations.